Saturday, December 29, 2012

Real Black Girl Thinspo

Sometimes seeing real girls can help to motivate me more than models. And as you can see from my blog title, Not All Black Girls Wanna Be Thick, so there are some thin ones out there trust me!

Seeing real girls somewhat similar to you is helpful, but there is not one Ana/Mia/ED that doesn't have that one girl they see on a regular basis that they look up to.
You know the girl I'm talking about.
The girl that has the body you dream you had, that makes you want to work out and diet and eat laxatives till you puke. You almost want to be her, she is your Ultimate Thinspo.

Well, there's a girl like that for me, let's call her T. Shes gorgeous and fashionable and super popular. Everyone in my city knows her name. She has a great car, great hair/skin/nails, and shes a model, but the thing I admire the most is her body type, which I wish I could have :( she's so lucky, the guys at my school literally swoon over her. I never go so far as to wish I was her, but I Damn sure wish I had her flat stomach and smooth back. I've been cursed with disgusting back fat, and it's not like my stomach is sooo big, it's really the back rolls that make me look so fucking nasty, like I could reach behind me a pinch the rolls, I've counted and there's five. I'll post a pick later so you see I'm not exaggerating.

There's another girl too her name is Jasmine, she would be my Ultimate Thinspo because her body is 10x better, but I've never seen her in person only pics so I've never had the full "Wow" affect. I'll post pics of her later.

Anyway, here's some pics of T.

Friday, December 28, 2012


I don't have any followers, and I'm kinda glad because I would HATE for you guys to read How much I've failed. I'm such a failure....

Christmas break came around, and I had planned to lose massive amounts of weight so I could go back to school and wow people. But, my grandad came down from North Carolina. And it's not that I don't absolutely LOVE him, I mean he's been more of a father than my father has ever been, but he cooks that true grandmas house down in the backwater country food. I feel so fucking fat!!

And ANY person that is obsessed about their weight will tell you that when they eat really bad they avoid the scale like the ugly guy that's been in love with you since kindergarten.

Since the break started I've been piling this disgusting fat filled food down my gullet, and I mean DISGUSTING: cookies, cakes, pies, fried foods, pizza, ice cream, candy, mayo based salads, greasy food, fast food, soda, soda, and more fucking SODA!! And I felt so guilty that I didn't step on the scale not once.

Until just now.

My breath completely stopped in my chest. How could i? How could I just give up on my dream? How could I just throw it all away???

179.2 lbs.

I promise if it would have said 180 I would dropped dead right there.

So, I'm saying right here and right now, that I am changing. Tomorrow its nothing but fruit and water and coffee (courtesy of my new coffee maker—thanks mom!!) and this 40 minute workout that I'll post tomorrow. I can't be fat anymore I don't want to be the "fat friend" I want my boyfriend to pick me up, I want to feel sexy when I'm naked, I want to go back to school on the 8th and have people come up to me and say, "have you lost weight?" I want my ex to feel like shit, I want guys to notice me just so I can say I have a bf, I want to show my stomach and wear cropped tops, I want my jelly thighs to stop rubbing together, I want to feel confident in WHATEVER I wear, I want to be small, tiny, thin, light, little, I WANT TO BE SKINNY!!


Okay, I'm gonna stop ranting and raving and give you guys some well deserved thinspo, One of the things I'd love to wear when I'm smaller:

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Glad to Be Back!

My phone wouldnt work unless it was charging, so I had to get a new one. And then my mom took it away because I forgot to wash the dishes one night, so I've been AWOL to the outside world. To be completely honest my diet has went to shits! I have been trying to eat right, but without thinspo or my blog i've been lost. Luckily, I've only gained about one pound.

                 CW: 177.6 lbs
           1st GW: 150 lbs
         2nd GW: 140 lbs
              UGW: 135 lbs

I hate that I cant stay away from food. I hate that my mom is constantly asking me to bake things, or make dinner which means I have to taste it which ultimately means im gonna eat it!

Sorry im being such a Debbie Downer, but it really is hard. I find myself looking at the tiny girls at my school with a perspective thats almost envious. I would look at them with longing of the great bodies they had but never envy or jealousy! I think I want this so bad its becoming a problem, I dont want an ED but I'll gladly take one if that means I'll lose weight. If anyone has a problem with that then click the little red "X" at the top of the window and move on.

On another note, I think im going to start walking after school for an hour everyday, its really the only option I have as far as exercise since my dad stole my Wii.

Another story for another day.

Tomorrow my little sister is turning five so theres gonna be a huge party with lots of food and cake :( I'll be sure to let you know how that goes because I really will try to resist temptation, because nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Anyway, here's some Thinspo: Anna Faris!
Some of the pics are kinda explicit so viewer discretion is advised :)

   Im getting sleepy so I'll head off to bed, have a great night :)

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Good morning!

Yesterday's water fast was going great until I got home from school at 7 (I'm in Drama Club after school) and stepped on the scale. It read a whopping 180! My jaw dropped. I couldnt believe it, I gained 3 pounds??? I walked around the whole day guzzling on water like I was in a damn desert. I broke the fast and had a Caesar salad and two Brownies.
After my shower I stepped on the scale and was amazed once again to see the scale read 177.2 I thought the scale was broken until I realized my dumbass had on a bunch of clothes and my shoes and socks when I first weighed myself, so I basically broke the fast for Nothing -__-
I went to bed around nine, and when I woke up I weighed myself again. So here are the stats:

                     CW: 176.4
               1st GW: 150
              2nd GW: 140
                   UGW: 135

I have a full bottle of water and a 110 calorie bag of corn flakes lol that's like the only healthy snack in my house. Before I end this post, I just wanna share the main reasons Why I want to lose weight.
1. PROM—Who wants to look like a fat cow on one the most important nights of their life??
2. CONFIDENCE—I want to turn heads, I want to wake up in the morning and know that I'm gorgeous and that No matter what I'll never forget it!
3. MY EX—When we broke up he called me a fat bitch over and over again. I can't wait to lose weight and Watch him eat his decrepit heart out..hehe
3. CLOTHES—You notice how all the cute shit is for the skinny girls?? Yeah. I want to wear skin tight dresses and short shorts and most of all, CROP TOPS!
4. NAKED—I'm not a promiscuous girl, but I'm No virgin either. I want to be able to bear all and not be shy about it. Worrying about a fat roll really takes the fun out of sex!
5. HEALTH—When you get a chance find out what the healthy weight is for someone your height. I find out I should be at the Max 150 pounds. I'm 5'4. I don't want to be the maximum, I'm striving for less.

There are more reasons but those are the top 5.
Stay beautiful <3

Monday, November 26, 2012

Off to a rough start cont.

I thought I could handle the pressure, but I cracked. I walked into the kitchen and ran smack dab into a plate of Brownies. I had one, and a gummy, one starburst, and a fun size pack of skittles.
Oh but that's not the worst part.
At the doctors office my baby sisters were complaining that they were hungry, so my mom left and brought back CHECKERS! Ugh! She got me my favorite—the chicken bites box!

I only ate half of it, feeling like a slob. And she offered a bite of her Bacon Burger. I took like..four.
When I got home, the Brownies assaulted me again. I'm so ashamed. I ate like a total fatass Today. If I step on the scale and find myself anywhere in the 180's I'll cry.

I decided to keep my water bottle full at all times, so I can do my first water fast tomorrow. I pray it wont be too hard, I'll keep telling myself that it's just one day. It's just food for pickles sake! Not air! I hope it goes well!

<3 Goodnight lovez

Off to a rough start

So Sunday I was supposed to only eat 500 calories but that didn't go so well. My mom wanted me to cook this extravagant breakfast with homemade pancakes, Bacon, scrambled eggs, and sausages. Let's just round that off to one or two BAGILLION calories. Yeah.

And THEN I ate leftovers from Thanksgiving. And THEN I made the most delicious moist mouthwatering Brownies. I looooove to bake and cook, but mostly bake lol.

                CW: 179.8

Not as bad as I thought. Right now I'm just relieved that I'm finally in the 70's. Now if we could just zoom to the 60's that would be great!

I woke up this morning with a belly ache (I have chronic digestive issues) and determination to not go over 500. My mom wanted Dunkin' Donuts. Sigh. So here it is:

Small French vanilla coffee w/Milk and sugar: 140
Chocolate glazed donut: 370

I had No idea a donut had so many calories!

My family nickname is Piggy, I've been called that since I was a wee babe, still is till this day. So I call that voice inside my head that makes me wanna eat more Piggy. She's such a bossy bitch.
Anyway, I'm thinking about dancing again, I took a break for medical issues I don't wish to disclose, but it's a good way to burn calories!


I will try my hardest to not eat for the rest of the day. Just water. I hate tea lol I really do, but Maybe I'll choke it down. If it gets too bad, I'll have an orange or some celery.

Let's do this >_<

<3 see ya!

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Starting life anew..

Hola peoples :) I was supposed to start this blog a while ago but alot has been happening, so here it goes!

First things first this blog is to motivate me and Hopefully motivate others. I know I posted that I was 183 but I weighed myself this morning and (finally) I'm 178.7 lbs. Then again it was in the morning...but I haven't seen it in the 70's in a year! I really hate my body :( but I'm going to change it! I'll try every diet to get where I want to be!

                 CW: 179
          1st  GW: 150
          2nd GW: 140
              UGW:  135

On most ProAna /Thinspo blogs the girls are going for 115lbs or less, but I'm 179 and look 150 (I think it's my breasts that hold most of the weight lol—I'm a DD!) So I'm going to see how I look at 135lbs and if it's not good enough I'll just keep going.

Tomorrow I'm gonna start things off nice and easy with 500cals a day for a week, and try some other diets a long the way. We can't afford exercise equipment, my mom thinks gym memberships take your money, and there aren't and free ones around here so all I have is my body and some sneakers :)

I'll post thinspo pics of course but I do not own any of them and if you don't want your picture up kindly tell me and I'll take them down ASAP :)

Enough talk, thinspo time!

I love all types, Celebrity, model, black, white, real girl, emo/scene, and before/afters!

Friday, October 12, 2012

Hey there :)

I'm pretty new to this so let me introduce myself. My name is...uhh...lets keep it anonymous for now lol. I'm 17 and Jamaican, 5 foot 4 and seriously overweight.
The last time I weighed myself I was 183lbs..
I was hoping that by blogging I would have more motivation, especially when it comes to tracking my progress and recording my calories.  And posting a lot of thinspo :)
I live in Florida, home of half naked skinny girls! With my mom and my two little sisters. This is just an introduction, but I'll definitely be back with a more in-depth description and photos of me ^_^ peace !