Saturday, February 16, 2013

Day 4—700 Calories

Lol good morning whoever is reading this! I'm feeling less worthless than usual which is good. I had like four sips of a Pepsi this morning before hopping on the city bus and heading to the mall. Im not even hungry yet. Today's stats:
Height: 5'4"
SW: 185lbs
CW: 173???
GW1: 170lbs
GW2: 160lbs
GW3: 150lbs
GW4: 140lbs
GW5: 130lbs

I think my scale is broken. Idk, I don't wanna get my feelings hurt you know? I don't want to be disappointed. Anyway, I'm at the mall and being around clothes makes me want to starve myself till I'm bones, it's great motivation for me. Hopefully that 173 was real and I can celebrate. If it is, I might be able to reach 170 by next week, which I haven't been in over a year.

I do this for the flat tummy.
I do this for thighs that won't spread when I sit down.
I do this to prove them wrong.
I do this to turn heads.
I do this to feel beautiful, confident, and sexy.
I do this to get back at my ex(es).
I do this for a back without numerous rolls and bra fat.
I do this to not envy the skinny girls.
I do this for a less fat face.
I do this to be small.
I do this to lose weight.
I do this to BE thinspo.

I forgot about what the mall also has besides clothes: THE FOOD COURT!! Lol damnit someone get me the hell out of here!!
I'm trying so hard to resist. I keep telling myself that I don't have enough anyway. But I do have enough for a Mrs. Fields cookie....

I resisted temptation!! I even didn't get these peanut MnMs that were calling my name! I feel so proud! Lets see how long this proudness lasts when I get home lol. HOPEFULLY I'll only eat an apple with peanut butter and some coffee. Thats only 405 calories!
Ugh, I have to take out my weave today...

I can feel it. My body running on fumes. My hands and legs shaking and my head pounding. Even though I'm dizzy, it almost feels like I'm high, on cloud 9.
Maybe even 10.
I'm on my way back home, waiting for the bus. Ttyl <3

I ate some of what my mom cooked. I'm not even gonna dwell on it, I'm just proud I went the whole day. Wow.
Fuck the intake.

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